Parenting after Divorce Mediator

When you are in the midst of a divorce, it is hard to think of anything else. Your life is focused on making immediate and important decisions about a divorce settlement. You also need a parenting plan to resolve custody issues and a means of how to separate two very intertwined lives. It is difficult to look forward and almost impossible to think about the transition to co-parenting after a divorce. The fact is, however, when you have children together and decide to divorce, your marriage may end, but you and your ex-spouse continue to be connected for the rest of your lives, all for the sake of your children.

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Divorce Mediation

AMS Mediation of Burnsville, MN, offers professional and thoughtful divorce mediation services to individuals and couples who seek their assistance. Among the most difficult and likely least anticipated experiences in life is divorce. It is comparable with other major life stresses, such as the death of a loved-one, the loss of one’s job, or the onset of a catastrophic illness. These are stressors that have been studied for decades, and they remain at the top of the list of experiences that cause the greatest amount of stress and trauma in our lives. If you are experiencing a divorce, or expecting to go through one in the future, mediation can offer a mechanism for settling your divorce that is less stressful, less expensive and takes less time than a traditional court battle. If you live in the Burnsville, Shakopee, Richfield, AMS Mediation can be a divorce mediation resource for you.

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When it’s time to let go of your Marriage…

Letting Go of MarriageIf your marriage is coming to an end and divorce is imminent, it is important for you to learn to Let Go of Your Marriage. The spouse who initiates the divorce process has most likely already begun to let go and prepare to move on to a new phase in life. However, the spouse that is being left may need help with Grieving the Marriage, Accepting that its ending and Moving On to a life as a newly divorced, single person. Realize that it’s okay to Celebrate the Marriage rather than only focusing on the problems. Resources such as Divorce Education Classes from AMS Mediation can be very beneficial in dealing with emotional, legal and logistical aspects of divorce.

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Create Your Own Parenting Plan…It’s in Your Children’s Best Interests

Children benefit when their parents, the people who know and love them most, make decisions about their upbringing in the aftermath of divorce/separation.

I recently came across a well written blog, by Kathleen Bar-Tur, a LCSW and FIPA in NYC. The title? “I Don’t Love Your Children.” Here’s a brief overview…A well respect judge shared with her the speech given to parents who appear in family court; it goes like this:

“First, I ask them what they are doing in my courtroom. They explain they are there to settle a custody issue. I then ask them, “Do you love your children? Well, then what are you doing here? Because, I don’t love your children. I don’t even know your children and you are putting your children into the hands of a total stranger who doesn’t love them”.

Consistent with my own personal and professional experience, Kathleen states that divorcing parents often believe that a fair, impartial, and honest judge will see the situation as it really is (from that parent’s perspective) and rule accordingly (in the best interests of the children). Isn’t that the purpose of family court? Unfortunately, even an excellent judge can’t and won’t know your children as well as you; and despite your belief that the right answer is obvious – it may not be so obvious to a stranger who doesn’t know anything about you, your spouse or your children.

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Divorce Trials in Minnesota

Minnesota divorce trials are stressful, expensive, and emotional. Since Minnesota court dockets are backlogged, it may take months to schedule a trial. The parties often dread the trial date as it approaches. Divulging the details of one’s marriage in front of a judge is scary for most, and being cross-examined by the opposing attorney is often even more frightening. It is not uncommon for trials to be continued (sometimes at the last minute) wasting valuable time and resources, not to mention causing unnecessary stress.

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