I Wish I Had Used Mediation

Long before I was a family mediator a friend went through a divorce that would have been made so much easier by mediation.  This is the story of one couple who could have saved time, money and relationships by choosing mediation.

Way back in the eighties I married a man I knew for only six weeks before becoming engaged.  We had it all – bridesmaids, flowers, big music, lots of people – a dream wedding.  After the honeymoon was over, the gifts were opened and the dress sealed in a special box, reality set in.  I didn’t know this guy.  And, what I did know, I didn’t really like.  No detail is necessary other than to say that we were young and mistook lust for true love.  Not an original story at all.

Read more ...

Conclusion Of Children and Conflict Series

Using “I” Statements

I statements are an effective way to communicate needs in an unemotional & non-adversarial.

Statements are specific and focused.

Read more ...

Children and Conflict Series Part 10

Managing Anger

We experience emotions through physical sensation such as heart rate, breathing rate, aches and pains, electrical currents.  Communication and behaviors which come out of emotion are often ineffective.  Use your head, not your heart and examine the other’s intentions before reacting.   Anger is a reaction – not an emotion.

Read more ...

Children and Conflict Series Part 9

Parenting Commitment Statement:

Creating a Parenting Commitment Statement helps you focus on parenting your children in the present and can help guide your behavior during challenging times and disagreements with your parenting partner.  You can do this with your parenting partner or alone.  Focus on your values as a parent and what you believe your children deserve and need from you.  Write your commitment statement in terms your children can understand, share it with them and post it where you and your children can see it on a daily basis.  You may also choose to define specific behaviors which support your commitment statement.

Read more ...

Children and Conflict Series Part 8

Separate Parenting

It is important to understand that parenting partners have separate lives and homes.

Read more ...