Thoughts about My Personal Experience with Divorce and Separate Parenting

I recently created a video for my website and this is the script of my message…

I’m Amber Serwat and I am a divorce and parenting specialist. I am also a divorced parent and step-parent. I’d love to tell you that my divorce was the model of cooperation – but it wasn’t. It was highly adversarial and by the time the battle ended we were nearly incapable of parenting our children together. Bitterness and resentment colored every interaction – trust was nonexistent – communication was terrible at best and our children were caught in the middle. It took a couple of years to turn things around. Today, we are a model of low-conflict and effective parenting; and our children are thriving. They have loving relationships with both of us, our new partners and two new sisters. I believe divorce and separate parenting are life experiences that you can never truly understand until you’ve experienced them. Although my journey through divorce and separate parenting is my own, it also provides a unique qualification which drives my passion for this work.

Like many couples, we wanted to be reasonable and we tried to negotiate a settlement at the kitchen table. In hindsight, we actually crafted a fairly decent settlement but lacking professional guidance we were ultimately unsuccessful. So we did what most people do when facing divorce – we each retained attorneys and that decision set our course – we unknowingly selected a process. I put my faith in my lawyer and for the most part followed along without asking questions. Petitions, responses, interrogatories, formal discovery and seemingly endless posturing followed. We lost control of our lives and we had no idea how to get it back. 2.5 years and a small fortune later we settled our case on the verge of trial.

Despite my frustration with the process I was powerless to change direction because I didn’t know my options. If I didn’t even know what questions to ask, how could I make such important decisions? I was overwhelmed and fearful. My passion for this work comes from a deep commitment to helping others avoid the common pitfalls of divorce and separate parenting. Your first most important decision is about process; the second is who you hire. It is critical that you understand your options including ALL costs, financial and otherwise. After selecting a process, interview two or three professionals in order to find a good fit for you and your situation. Remember, YOU are the expert in your own life and with some solid professional guidance, you are capable of reaching fair and equitable solutions – much more so than a stranger in a black robe.

I welcome an opportunity to talk with you about your situation; and regardless of how you choose to proceed, I wish you a peaceful new beginning.

My name is Amber Serwat and I help take the fear and expense out of difficult transitions.

 

Written by: Amber M. Serwat, MA

Amber is a divorce and parenting specialist in private practice in Burnsville, MN. She is also a divorced parent and step-parent of three children, ages 16-12.

amber@amsmediationplus.com | 952.252.1492

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