If you are soon to be divorced from your spouse, or in the early stages following a divorce, and you have children, you should strongly consider making contact with AMS Mediation of Burnsville, Minnesota. AMS Mediation can provide the kind of support that you (and your ex) can benefit from especially if you are having difficulty figuring out how to suspend your feelings of animosity toward your ex while trying to do what is best for your children.
Co-Parenting Support | Minnesota Mediators
Helpful Resources As You Navigate Divorce
Divorce is like the weather: sometimes you can see it coming and plan for it, and sometimes you get caught off guard, unprepared, and end up devastated. If you find yourself somewhere on that spectrum, you should consider seeking the help of AMS Mediation. Consider availing yourself of the classes offered by AMS Mediation, especially if you have the benefit of time to consider your approach to divorce. From classes in parenting during and after divorce to classes in Minnesota law as it relates to divorce, AMS Mediation provides information that will empower you to be your own best advocate.
Parenting Mediation Can Make Divorce Easier
Life is hard, and when divorce is added to the equation, it becomes all the more difficult. We have come to accept that divorce is among the most stressful experiences adults can go through, and that is probably for good reason. But it seems illogical to not try to mitigate the impact of divorce on couples who have determined that it is the best possible solution to their marital problems. For many people going through divorce, the process is extremely painful, and often it brings out the worst in people. But need it be this way?
Your Children Need Parents, Not Mickey Mouse. Don’t be a “Disneyland” Parent
What children need most during and after divorce are actively involved parents.
Divorce is difficult – it’s hard on both parents and children. Parents, often feel guilty about how our divorce impacts our children. Non-residential parents who have less time with the children than the residential parent sometimes fear losing their connection with their child or worse yet, fear losing their child will resist spending time with them. Whether guilt or fear, parents may feel compelled to make it up to their children by showering them with attention, being too lenient, or buying material things. Actually, what children need most during and after divorce are actively involved parents. Parents who not only continue to provide for their day-to-day needs but who also continue to provide structure, discipline and affection. Avoid falling into the trap of being a “Disneyland” parent by following these helpful tips:
Thoughtful planning is best protection against high-conflict parenting after divorce.
Hands down, the best way to protect your children from the well-researched negative impacts of a high-conflict divorce or parental break-up is to spend some time, energy, and yes, money with a neutral parenting specialist.
In the throes of a divorce or custody battle it is ever so tempting to either hand your destiny over to your attorney or your parenting partner or decide not to hire a parenting specialist because of added cost. Both options may seem relatively reasonable however; both decisions are typically problematic and may ultimately cost more over time than investing in a specialist at the start.
Taking the time to discuss all aspects of separate parenting (including boundaries, joint rules, communication, expenses, new partners, expectations and the like) BEFORE these issues become problems is one of the secrets of success. A parenting specialist is invaluable in helping each of you understand the common pitfalls, set reasonable expectations and create workable protocols.
The old adage, “you get what you pay for” comes to mind. While an experienced family law attorney may have handled hundreds of custody issues he/she is not (often) a child or parenting expert; and he/she is not an expert about your life or your children. Only you and your parenting partner are experts about your life and your children. You know better than anyone what will work for your family and when the dust settles, you and your family will have to live with the results. With neutral, professional assistance, most parents (even high conflict parents) are able to create workable parenting plans complete with expectations and behavioral guidelines.
Separate parenting is difficult at best and learning how to be effective after a divorce or break-up does not come naturally. It takes time, hard work and training. A qualified parenting specialist may come from a variety of backgrounds – such as a therapist, social worker, mediator, or even possibly an attorney. They don’t have to have personal experience with separate parenting but I believe that type of experience is highly beneficial (I’m biased of course). Regardless of their educational and professional background and expertise, a neutral and direct parenting consultant is worth their weight in gold because divorcing parents sometimes need to hear messages and receive guidance they would rather avoid or disregard.