Children and Conflict Series Part 5

Emotional Needs of Children…

13 Things Kids Want Parents to Know…

  1. We need to know you love us, will protect us, and won’t leave us.
  2. Help us get organized for going back and forth. Be patient.
  3. Listen to our questions and opinions even if you don’t agree.
  4. Accept that we need a lot of time to adjust, even when we don’t show it.
  5. Keep your conflicts and dislike of each other out of sight and earshot.
  6. Keep us out of the middle of your problems.  We are just kids.
  7. Don’t ask us to spy, pass messages, or listen to you put-down the other parent.
  8. Give us a chance to talk with kids who are also going through this experience.
  9. Help us express and learn how to manage our feelings.
  10. Give us space and time to grieve the loss of our old life at our own pace.
  11. Confide in people your own age.  We are not your substitute spouse or friend.
  12. Tell us we aren’t to blame for your problems.  We can’t fix them either.
  13. Show us it’s okay to love and want to be with both of you.
  • Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life.  I count on both of you to raise me, teach me what is important, and help me when I have problems.
  • Please stop fighting in front of me or where I can hear you.  When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty
  • Please say only nice things about my other parent, or don’t say anything at all.  When you say mean things about my other parent, I feel like you are putting me down and expecting me to take your side.
  • I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one of you more than the other. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you.

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