Going through a divorce is an extremely difficult time for people, and even if both parties are feeling neutral over the situation, oftentimes kids have a very hard time with divorce and it is extremely important to be mindful of this when going through a separation no matter how hard or mutual it may be.
As a divorced parent of two, school-aged children and a step-parent, I have personal experience that has contributed to my success as a mediator, and my personal journey can help you. Without proper safeguards parenting after a divorce can be emotionally overwhelming, with the legal system and financial stresses, and that is why having a mediator to help you resolve some of these issues and guide you through the process it can be very devastating and destructive.
Co-parenting as divorced is not an easy task and in order to do it successfully, it is important to have communication, flexibility, compliance, be able to negotiate and be positive. Oftentimes communication is the biggest problem between parents and if parents are able to effectively communicate with one another, then a lot of issues are resolved. Professional parenting specialists can help make this process easy.
Kids that are products of divorce often are affected 7 different ways.
- Kids often act out at school but take on more responsibility at home. Many children will help out more at home to make up for the second parent being around, but oftentimes have a hard time adjusting and lash out at school do to the at home stress’s.
- Kids usually feel a sense of relief. Surveyed kids have admitted wishing their parents would get a divorce because of the tense atmosphere at home. Especially older children will express the want for their parents to separate.
- Children reported that they can feel the strain of the tight financial situation after their parents divorced or separated. Children are aware of sacrifices their parents have to make after the divorce and can sense the stress that money has caused on both of their parents.
- Many children will play the blame game. Many children are upset after because of their parents separation and often times rebel against the change. Many children will blame their parents, or play the blame game at school or with friends as they project their emotional stress onto others.
- Adults who are products of divorce even struggle as adults. They say oftentimes it has affected their own relationships and trust.
- Children do not like hearing their parents badmouth one another. It is important not to bad mouth to your kids about their parents, they often take it personal or will build resentment towards the person talking bad about the other person.
- Children often report that they are happy to see their parents thrive after the divorce. They say they are glad when the fighting stops and when the parents seem to be happy and even find other people to build healthy relationships with.