If you and your spouse want to settle your divorce without going to court, you might want to try mediation. Divorce mediation allows both parties to work through major issues like financial and parental responsibilities in a less stressful environment. To get the most out of your sessions, you’ll want to prepare ahead of time. Below, learn about the benefits divorce mediation offers and how you can prepare for productive discussions.
Why Choose Divorce Mediation
The end of a marriage can already be difficult enough without the added stress of the divorce process. Many couples dread going to court to get divorced, so they choose mediation instead. Divorce mediation is valuable for those who want to reach fair agreements while remaining collaborative, communicative, and understanding. Here are some of the main reasons why couples are turning to this approach:
- Allows You to Stay in Control: Rather than a judge deciding on personal matters, you and your spouse are in control of the outcomes. Whether it’s parenting schedules or financial arrangements, both parties are empowered to determine the best course of action for their situation.
- Saves Money and Time: Attorney and court fees can cost you thousands of dollars, and litigation requires you to work around the court’s schedule. Mediation is usually more affordable and takes place on a timeline that works for you and your spouse.
- Confidentiality: Unlike court proceedings that may become part of the public record, what you and your spouse discuss in mediation remains confidential. Your mediator will maintain confidentiality about your situation and negotiations.
If there are children involved, divorce mediation is often less stressful than going to court because there’s less conflict. It can also serve as an excellent example of healthy communication for your children.
Key Steps to Preparing for Divorce Mediation
Gather Relevant Financial Documents
Finances are a major topic in a divorce. How should assets and debts be divided? Will there be spousal support? Both parties need to understand the full picture of their finances, so it’s important to gather all relevant documents and organize the information ahead of time. Doing so can help reach fair agreements during mediation.
- Some documents to gather include:
- Bank statements
- Property appraisals
- Retirement account summaries
- Recent tax returns
- Real estate deeds
- Loan documents
- Credit card account statements
Once you have all the financial documents, you can organize them using spreadsheets or summaries that make the information easier to reference during sessions. Creating a list of assets, debts, and other martial property can also clarify your and your spouse’s financial standing.
Make a List of Issues You Want to Discuss
While finances, parenting responsibilities, and child support are some of the main issues in a divorce, there may be other important topics that you want to discuss. Write down these issues beforehand, so you remember to bring them up in a mediation session.
Some issues that may be important to you include:
- Pet custody
- Name changes
- Communication rules, including how to dispute disagreements in the future
- Personal belongings
- Insurance coverage
Research and Choose the Right Mediator
The right mediator can expedite the divorce process and make sure both sides are heard. You should choose someone who is neutral, compassionate, and knowledgeable about state laws. A skilled divorce mediator can guide you and your spouse through emotionally charged discussions.
When researching a mediator, check their credentials, reviews, and referrals and schedule an initial consultation to determine if they are a good fit you and your unique situation.
You may also want to consider whether you prefer your mediation sessions to take place in person or online. Virtual sessions allow you to participate from a place where you feel most comfortable without having to commute to a particular location.
Learn Strategies to Manage Emotions
Going through a divorce can bring up strong emotions. Before heading into a mediation session, you should develop some strategies to help manage your emotions and keep the conversation productive. This could mean practicing calming techniques like deep breathing, asking for breaks when needed, setting realistic expectations, and using “I” statements when expressing your concerns.
Seek Additional Support from a Counselor or Therapist
A counselor or therapist can help you navigate the divorce process and provide you with strategies on how to process your emotions. When you have support for your emotional well-being, you can go into mediation more level-headed and focused on reaching fair agreements with your spouse.
What Can You Expect in the Divorce Mediation Process?
Oftentimes, a mediator will provide an agenda outlining the issues to be discussed before a session and may ask you to bring certain documents or other materials. This way, you have an idea of what to expect and how the session will go.
Usually, a session will start with introductions and rules, followed by each side voicing their opinions. Throughout the conversation, the mediator is there to facilitate the discussion, make sure both parties are heard, and help them work toward agreements.
Finalizing a divorce can take multiple sessions. The process may take longer for couples who have real estate, children, or other complex matters to address. Even with a less time-consuming approach like divorce mediation, it’s essential to take the time needed to thoughtfully consider optoins and determine how to move forward.
How We Can Help
A big part of divorce mediation preparation is choosing the right mediator. An experienced mediator knows how to navigate difficult conversations and help both parties work toward fair solutions without going to court.
At Amber M. Serwat, LLC we have been assisting couples in Minnesota with their divorce mediations for the past two decades. We remain neutral and allow both sides to voice their concerns in a non-judgmental space. Our goal is to help you and your spouse come to an agreement while prioritizing your family’s well-being. We believe professional alternative dispute resolutions can be a more effective and productive approach than litigation.
If you have any questions about divorce mediation or would like to meet one of our mediators, call us at 952.252.1492 to schedule a free one-hour consultation. During this consultation, you and your spouse can learn more about our approach to the mediation process and how we can help. A divorce is one of life’s most challenging moments, and we are here to support you through the entire process.
