Many people say that getting a divorce is one of the most stressful life events. It takes a huge emotional and financial toll, and if you have children, the impact does not stop with you. Your children also must adapt to the change as well. Divorce impacts you financially, socially and is a dramatic change to your family dynamic. Deciding if you are truly ready involves much thought and reflection and can take months and sometimes longer. Here are some of the questions you can ask yourself to determine if you are ready for the next step:
1. Do you still love your spouse? It is easy to contemplate a change in your life when you are angry, hurt or upset. But, when the dust settles, do you still love your partner? If the answer is yes, you may not yet be ready to end your marriage.
2. Are you threatening to divorce, or do you mean it? In the heat of an argument, it is easy to threaten divorce, but you should ask yourself if you really mean it. Are you saying this to be hurtful or are you really ready to end this chapter of your life? If so, it is wise to consider communicating about this with your spouse when tempers cool so that you can try to work together toward a solution for a separation.
3. Are you prepared to handle the difficulty that will follow a divorce: Each marriage is unique and each divorce is too. If you are ready to end your marriage, you should be able to think about the things that will change in your life (sharing custody of your children, moving, etc.). If you find that you are thinking of divorce but not yet ready to think about how this will impact the rest of your life, you may still be coming from a place of emotion and need a bit more time to resolve that.
4. Do you have an agenda when you talk about divorce: The only agenda you should have, if you are ready to divorce, is to actually end your marriage. If you are hoping that talking about divorce will push your partner to change his/her habits or treat you differently, consider working with your partner first before using language about divorce.
Divorce Mediation Services in Minnesota
AMS Mediation offers divorce mediation services for couples who have made the difficult decision to divorce. We can help you with all aspects of the divorce process including providing emotional support, guidance, coaching and helping you and your partner settle the terms of your divorce. Struggling to decide whether you are ready to divorce is completely normal. Our free consultation can help answer your questions about the process, which can sometimes help you make the difficult decision. Call us at 952-252-1492 for more information.