If you are soon to be divorced from your spouse, or in the early stages following a divorce, and you have children, you should strongly consider making contact with AMS Mediation of Burnsville, Minnesota. AMS Mediation can provide the kind of support that you (and your ex) can benefit from especially if you are having difficulty figuring out how to suspend your feelings of animosity toward your ex while trying to do what is best for your children.
AMS Mediation understands the complex dynamics of marital relationships following a divorce. Even in the most amicable of divorce situations, the divorced couple can have lingering feelings of anger or resentment or bitterness, and so many other potentially negative feelings. To some extent, these feelings are natural, and even predictable. But if not kept in proper perspective, they can cause you to act in contradiction to your desire to ensure that your children’s best interests are always kept in mind.
Minnesota Mediation Strategies For Navigating Divorce Keeping Children In Mind
AMS Mediation begins the mediation process by understanding the importance of assuming best intentions. In other words, the assumption is that both parents want what is best for the children at all times, and especially following the stress of divorce. But assuming best intentions and implementing them can be two very different processes. Getting to the point where both parents are able to transcend the limits of their negative emotions may require that one of you take the risk of behaving differently toward your ex-spouse. You may have to consider doing the following in order to change the nature of your relationship:
- Make requests instead of demands. If your break-up was acrimonious, you might have taken to responding to your ex with disdain. That might have felt necessary in order to demonstrate your strength. But following divorce, it may be necessary—for the welfare of your children—to dial it back a bit.
- View your relationship with your ex as a new one. Building on the above point, you may find it easier to work with your ex on issues pertaining to your child by considering it a brand-new relationship, one defined by the need for cooperation to ensure the well-being of your children.
- Keep your conversations child-focused, diplomatic, businesslike. Suspending your stronger emotions may be easier if you focus on the task at hand, namely your children. The divorce ended your legal union, but feelings often remain. But if those feelings do not benefit your children, they should be held at bay.
Your spousal relationship will likely always be complex. But AMS Mediation can help you make sense of it so that you and your ex can work more cooperatively for the ultimate benefit of your children. Call our team at 1.952.252.1492 for more information.