Supporting your kids’ needs and keeping in mind that their well-being is the most important outcome of a divorce is a very important part of the process. Given the intense emotion between you and your spouse, this can be a very challenging task. Below are some tips for supporting your children during the divorce/ongoing post divorce challenges and helping them continue to thrive, even during this difficult time:
1. Listen: This may sound obvious but try to listen to what they say to you. Ask them how they are feeling about the changes that are happening and then just listen. Make sure that you explain to them that they are allowed to feel anyway that they need to and that they will not disappoint or anger you if they share their feelings honestly. This can help build trust during this time that can carry over well after the divorce is final.
2. Communicate respectfully about your ex: In all likelihood, there are many things you could say about your spouse that are not exactly kind. Keep those things to yourself when you talk to your kids about your ex. The conflict between you and your ex is not related to your kids, so protecting them from that conflict can help them cope with the change.
3. Keep your cool and show them that you are calm and in control. Even if this is not how you feel deep down, it will help ease the transition for them. Keep some things consistent for them. Keep them at the same school even if the drive is longer, let them continue sports or extracurricular activities that they like, keep bedtime routines the same for younger kids. These small things will help them feel calm and confident about the changes around them.
4. Provide extra reassurance: It can be difficult to be reassuring to your kids when you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you but giving them extra affection, love and support will help them (and you). For example, allow them to sleep with you one night a week and watch movies in bed! Giving them extra love and care will go a long way during this time!
Lower The Stress Of Divorce For Your Kids
While you focus on your kids during the divorce, you can be confident that the divorce process will be smooth when you partner with AMS Mediation. We offer comprehensive mediation services and have extensive experience with all kinds of divorce cases – and we can help you. For more information, call us at 952-252-1492 to schedule a free consultation.