The holidays evoke all kinds of emotion – positive emotions like joy, anticipation, and hope and sometimes also negative emotions like loss, disappointment and even sadness. If you have recently been through a divorce and are facing the holidays for the first time, you may be feeling a mixture of all of these emotions. This may be the first time you’ve spent a significant holiday without your children full-time. Your children are also likely facing a big adjustment this holiday season, facing a major holiday with a different family dynamic. Here are some tips for making this holiday season go smoothly for your family this year.
- Make a plan to share the kids: If you and you ex are on good terms, make a plan ahead of time to share the kids during the holiday season. This can ease the tension on the actual holiday, if kids were able to celebrate at various times with both of you. If there are annual traditions, parties or gatherings with close family and friends, plan ahead about which parent will take the kids to which event, and try to keep it as even as you can. This shows your kids that you and your ex-spouse can work together even after divorce and that you can still participate in the traditions that make the holidays special for your family.
- Get input from your kids on new traditions: Holidays after a divorce can be a time to make new traditions. Enlist the help of your kids to come up with ideas that can be celebratory and fun, even if the holiday feels different. Consider activities that you have not done before. Giving your kids the opportunity to help make new traditions can ease the stress of the season.
- Surround yourself with loved ones: When the kids are not with you, fight the urge to spend that time alone. Instead, surround yourself with friends, family members, co-workers and try to lean on them for support.
- Be flexible: As you head into the holiday season, try to be as flexible as you can. This is new territory for you, your ex and your kids and finding ways to compromise will make future holidays bright.
Post-Divorce Mediation Services
Mediation is a great way to solve difficult issues after a divorce, without high conflict and difficulty. It can be a place where you and your ex can sit down and come up with a plan for the holidays that works for your entire family and can be useful if you and your ex-spouse do not agree on the best way to divide time. AMS Mediation specializes in post-divorce mediation and can help you navigate this difficult time. Call our team today at 952.252.1492 to schedule an appointment.