Talking to your children about your decision to divorce can be extremely difficult and painful for the entire family.  The words are difficult to find and the emotion is overwhelming.  If you decide to pursue divorce mediation rather than litigation to settle the important issues of your divorce including division of property, child custody issues and the development of a parenting plan, you may find that the tone of the interaction may help you talk more easily to your children.  AMS Mediation of Burnsville, MN, offers extensive divorce mediation and parenting support services that will address the difficult task of communicating with your kids about divorce and the upcoming changes.

A few general guidelines for how best to talk to your children about your divorce include:

  • Do not use language that blames the other spouse.
  • As difficult as it may be, try to present a united front to your children. Try to agree on your message(s) in advance with your divorcing spouse so that your communication is consistent.
  • Plan your conversations in advance when you can so that you are ready to talk to your kids and are not surprised by questions. You want to make sure that your conversation(s) occur well in advance of any big changes (like with living arrangements, etc.).
  • Leave the children out of the details of the divorce. Keep it simple.  They do not need to hear about your anger and details about the issues that will be hurtful to them.
  • Reassure them that while change is coming, they are still loved and that they will be OK. Many children also may need reassurance that the divorce is not their fault in any way.

Divorce Mediation And Parenting Support Services

AMS Mediation offers strong divorce mediation and parenting support services and classes that can help you navigate the difficult process of communicating about your divorce with your children.  This process will allow you to be honest, gentle, reassuring and clear with your children about what is going to happen.  Choosing divorce mediation over litigation reduces the duration and severity of the conflict between you and your divorcing spouse, which is extremely beneficial to your children.  You can choose to focus the mediation sessions on creating a parenting plan, which clearly defines a schedule for time spent with each parent.  The entire process can empower you to find solutions that truly work for your family.

For more information or to learn more about the services offered by AMS Mediation, call 952-252-1492 to set up a time for a free 1 hour consultation.


The safety of clients, ourselves, and colleagues is our top priority while we remain available to assist you as you navigate the new and uncharted territory caused by the coronavirus pandemic.


While providing virtual ADR services was not part of our plan, we have made the necessary accommodations to ensure we can continue to serve our clients during these unsettling times. We are now working remotely and ensure the ongoing availability of mediation, PC, PTE and other ADR services.

Our office hours remain the same and we remain available by phone and email. The main office number is 952.252.1492.

We are using Zoom for videoconferencing. We suggest that you download this app to your phone or the program to your computer at


We continue to offer free 1-hour divorce consultations via Zoom. Potential PC and PTE clients are invited to schedule a free 15-minute phone call. Please call 952.252.1492 to set up an appointment. We are here to help!

Thank you for your patience and understanding as we all adapt to these rapidly changing and chaotic times. Stay strong, remain resilient and stay healthy!

Amber Serwat and Gayle Ladwig
ADR Professional and ADR Assistant

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