Perfect vs. good-enough: Two different types of co-parenting – both sound positive…which is better?
You can be the perfect co-parent. The one who is always on time and never forgets a school conference, medical appointment or extra-curricular activity. The one who always serves healthy meals, never misses a bedtime. You can be the “go-to” parent and try to ensure that every aspect of your child’s is ideal. A difficult challenge, if not impossible, but you’ll never be accused of being an inferior-parenting.
Or you can be the good-enough co-parent – the one who is flexible, reliable and respectful. The thing about accommodating change and special requests, doing what you say, refraining from criticism, and using common courtesy is that you only have to be that way most of the time. No one is expected to be exceptional all the time.
When a person who strives to be the perfect co-parent drops the ball or falls short, those who are impacted will most likely be disappointed, dissatisfied and resentful. When co-parent who strives to be reasonable temporarily falters, those who are impacted will most likely be at least somewhat accommodating. When a rigid co-parent, the one who constantly imposes his/her perfect-parenting philosophy on others, is imperfect, the co-parenting relationship breaks down – because perfect has to be perfect all the time.
Thank you to Seth Godin for his excellent insight on “Perfect vs. Interesting”- visit his bog at www.sethgodin.typepad.com