The silver lining is often hard to find, especially if you didn’t initiate your divorce. Whether you initiated your divorce or not, you may struggle with feelings of guilt and finding new happiness after divorce.
Generally speaking, people get divorced to create a better future. The following are lessons I learned on my journey and in the years after my divorce…
- Happiness and emotional well-being is more important than the “stigma” of divorce.
- What doesn’t ruin me makes me stronger.
- Change drives personal growth…if you let it.
- I possess resilience, strength and confidence.
- I learned to love and forgive myself.
- My children are better off in two happy homes than one conflicted home.
- Being a good parent starts with being good to myself.
- I’ve accepted that “good-enough” parenting is sometimes exactly that…and I can apply the same theory to my children’s other parent.
- Leaving the anger and resentment of my marriage behind is the only way to be free.
- I make my own happiness.
It’s helpful to remember that even when your journey feels endless and the challenges insurmountable that the light at the end of the tunnel is sunshine and not a train! You can survive this challenge, land on your feet and if you open yourself to the new possibilities change presents – you can emerge a better person, better parent and better partner.
I wish everyone on this difficult journey a peaceful new beginning!
Amber is a divorce and parenting specialist in private practice in Burnsville, MN. She is also a divorced parent and step-parent of three children, ages 16-12.
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