Letting Go of MarriageIf your marriage is coming to an end and divorce is imminent, it is important for you to learn to Let Go of Your Marriage. The spouse who initiates the divorce process has most likely already begun to let go and prepare to move on to a new phase in life. However, the spouse that is being left may need help with Grieving the Marriage, Accepting that its ending and Moving On to a life as a newly divorced, single person. Realize that it’s okay to Celebrate the Marriage rather than only focusing on the problems. Resources such as Divorce Education Classes from AMS Mediation can be very beneficial in dealing with emotional, legal and logistical aspects of divorce.

Grieving Your Marriage

Ending a marriage has been compared to surviving the death of a loved one. Divorce can impact just about every aspect of your life. Your family, finances, friends, career and most of all your children are all impacted by divorce. Just as people go through stages of grieving a death, spouses going through the divorce process need to Grieve the Marriage. Emotional stages of divorce can be very chaotic in nature. Understand that moving through emotions such as Shock, Denial, Anger and Acceptance can change day-to-day or moment-to-moment.

Accepting the Marriage is Ending and Moving On

Learning to Accept that the Marriage is Ending can be a very difficult first step. Acceptance is needed in order to move on as quickly and gracefully as possible. The following actions can help in the process of Accepting and Moving On with your life and dignity:

  • Speak with friends and tell them that you are getting a divorce.
  • Fight the urge to fight back and hurt your spouse.
  • Don’t try to control or be responsible for the actions of your spouse.
  • Don’t allow or expect your spouse to be responsible for what you need for support or property division after the divorce.
  • Set short term, attainable goals for yourself such as reaching out to friends, taking care of yourself physically and financially.
  • Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be in your new life and take advantage of the opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Celebrating Your Marriage

There is a reason that you originally chose to marry your spouse. It won’t work to completely ignore the things that attracted you to this person or what aspects of their personality that you admire. Take the time to Celebrate Your Marriage, reflect on what your spouse meant to you in the past and what you will miss the most when the marriage has ended.

Minnesota Divorce Mediator

AMS Mediation can provide you with beneficial resources to Move On to a successful life after divorce. As a skilled MN Divorce Mediator, we offer Divorce Education Classes, Parenting Services and Legal Process Options. Our services can help spouses to Grieve the Marriage, Accept the marriage is ending and be prepared to move on more quickly and gracefully.

Call AMS Mediation for Divorce Mediation Services at: (952) 252-1492.

A MESSAGE FROM AMS LLC RE: COVID-19

The safety of clients, ourselves, and colleagues is our top priority while we remain available to assist you as you navigate the new and uncharted territory caused by the coronavirus pandemic.

STILL WORKING

While providing virtual ADR services was not part of our plan, we have made the necessary accommodations to ensure we can continue to serve our clients during these unsettling times. We are now working remotely and ensure the ongoing availability of mediation, PC, PTE and other ADR services.

Our office hours remain the same and we remain available by phone and email. The main office number is 952.252.1492.

We are using Zoom for videoconferencing. We suggest that you download this app to your phone or the program to your computer at zoom.us/download.

NEW CLIENTS WELCOME

We continue to offer free 1-hour divorce consultations via Zoom. Potential PC and PTE clients are invited to schedule a free 15-minute phone call. Please call 952.252.1492 to set up an appointment. We are here to help!

Thank you for your patience and understanding as we all adapt to these rapidly changing and chaotic times. Stay strong, remain resilient and stay healthy!

Amber Serwat and Gayle Ladwig
ADR Professional and ADR Assistant

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