MY CHILDREN ARE MISERABLE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Child custody issues are among the most difficult to manage during and after a divorce. And, unlike some issues that come up during a divorce, they last long beyond the moment when the divorce is finalized.  It is extremely common for a parenting plan to have to be adjusted numerous times after a divorce, especially when schedules and circumstances change and as the children age.  But, as you co-parent, what do you do when your children tell you that they are miserable?  AMS Mediation of Burnsville, MN offers a wide variety of parenting and divorce mediation services that can help you navigate difficulties with child custody issues during and after your divorce.

Child Custody Issues

Very often, when children may express their dissatisfaction with the amount of time they are spending with one parent or the other, or a desire to change the custody arrangement, the root cause of this unhappiness may not be related to the custody arrangement at all.  Instead, the difficulty may in fact be a result of ongoing conflict between the parents and/or poor definition or implementation of the parenting plan.  Open and honest communication is a key component of any co-parenting arrangement, and your children will pick up on tension if it is there.

Here are some tips to try if your child/children are communicating that they are miserable:

  • Refine your parenting plan: Add additional detail and make sure that you, your ex-spouse and your children are clear about the agreed upon parenting plan and how it will be implemented. Add detail where needed and then make sure that you and your ex-spouse are consistent in implementing the plan.
  • Find strong support for your child or children: Rather than going back through the court system to make changes to your custody arrangements, you may be better served to connect your child with a therapist or counselor who can help him/her sort through the issues they are struggling with to achieve a more positive and healthy outlook.
  • Improve overall communication: If your child is communicating unhappiness, frustration or anger about your custody arrangement, take the opportunity to make sure that your communication with your ex-spouse and your children is open, honest and clear. This will encourage the same from your children and may uncover the root of your child/children’s real concern.

Get Support For Your Family

AMS Mediation has been providing strong parenting support services to those in the Minnesota area for more than a decade. If you would like more information about parenting or divorce mediation services, call 952-252-1492 to set up a time for a free one hour consultation.

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