Finding a way to talk to your children about divorce so that they do not internalize feelings of guilt is an extremely common issue that divorcing couples grapple with.  The last thing you want your children to feel is that your divorce is somehow their fault.  AMS Mediation of Burnsville, MN offers divorce mediation and parenting support services that can help you navigate this difficult process so that your family can come through the divorce as healthy and intact as possible.  Our team understands the complexities of divorce and the various ways it can negatively impact the children from the marriage. We offer support and guidance with the goal of minimizing conflict, stress, and expense during and after the divorce.

How To Talk To Your Children About a Divorce

  1. Plan the conversation: This is one conversation that your children may well remember for the rest of their lives, so it is always best to plan when and how you will give them the news of a pending divorce.  Avoid telling your children until you are certain that you will be pursuing divorce, and plan the conversation at a time where you can spend ample time answering their questions and making them feel safe and secure.
  2. Talk to them together: When possible, even if conflict is high, try to talk to your kids about divorce with your divorcing spouse, not alone. This will communicate to them that you are still a team when it comes to being parents, and telling them together offers one, consistent version of the story.  Discuss what you will tell your children with your divorcing spouse before you talk to your children.
  3. Keep the conversation simple: The age of the child will determine how much you will disclose about the divorce, but keeping it simple is a rule that can apply to any age. If possible, convey a plan (for seeing both parents), this will ease anxiety and the feeling that everything is changing at once.
  4. Tell your kids it is not their fault: Be very clear with your kids that your divorce is not their fault — the more clearly and often you communicate this message, the better.  You can let them know that this is an adult decision and nothing that they ever have done or could have done could cause it. Revisit this topic regularly.
  5. Avoid negative talk about your spouse: Your children hear everything you say, so be aware not to talk badly about your divorcing spouse to or around your kids.  Your children are a product of both of you, equally, and talking negatively about your spouse will only make your children feel badly.

Parenting Support Services

AMS Mediation offers a wide variety of parenting support services to help you and your family through the difficult process of divorce. Call (952) 252-1492 to set up a time for a free one-hour consultation.  AMS Mediation offers parenting coaching, parenting mediation, parenting education as well as court ordered parenting consultants and parenting time expeditor to help your family through the divorce. We want to put you in a stronger position for a more positive future.