Aristotle is credited with saying, “For though I love my friends and love the truth, piety requires that I love the truth above my friends.” What he meant, of course, is that there are times in life when circumstances demand that we value truth above loyalty. In cases involving divorce and co-parenting, the loyalty that is referred to is most likely to be the loyalty we often feel toward our own egos, our desire to be right when in conflict with our exes, or more likely our desire to not be proven wrong by someone with whom so much of our lives is tied up.
Create a Healthier Family Environment
Suspension of the ego gratification of “winning” a conflict with our ex-spouse may not always feel good, but its benefits are much more easily seen when we consider that it could prove to be healthier for our children. For most divorced couples, periodic conflict is inevitable. Divorce occurs for an infinitude of reasons, of course, but your reasons are likely to produce heightened responses because they are uniquely yours. When your ex pushes your buttons in ways that only your ex can, you may have to find the strength of Hercules in order to resist responding in expected ways. But if you understand that it is in the best interest of your children to overcome these limitations, you will have won a moral victory—not against your ex, mind you, but in the knowledge that you have made your children’s environment healthier for them.
Co-Parenting Support Minnesota
To overcome the limitations of your learned responses to your ex, consider seeking the help of a qualified mediator, such as the staff of AMS Mediation. AMS Mediation is extremely well qualified to mediate your conflicts, whether you are in the early stages of divorce or many years passed your divorce but still experiencing conflicts with your ex.
Recommendations when Co-Parenting on the Child’s Behalf:
- Understand your own ego-involvement and, for your children’s sake, work to limit its impact.
- Don’t allow your support system (loved-ones, friends, etc.) be so supportive that you lose sight of the good things your ex is capable of offering your children.
- If your ex is inclined to bait you into conflict, don’t bite at the bait. It’s okay to call a ‘timeout.’
- Recognize your ex’s strengths. And make the best of the situation with the team members you have been given.
- Relinquish control and prioritize your children’s welfare. AMS Mediation can help all involved relinquish control with minimal loss of agency.
Co-Parenting Strategies for Minnesota
AMS Mediation can be of great assistance in helping you create the healthiest possible circumstances for your children by helping you and your ex figure out how to manage your conflicts better. In addition, AMS Mediation offers divorce mediation services as well as parenting support services that can make navigating divorce a bit easier for all involved. Call (952.252.1492).